Multiculturalism at its Best

Yesterday Josh and I headed north for an afternoon jaunt in Montreal. I had a blast (i.e. we actually reached all planned destinations at the correct times without getting lost) as we gallivanted around the Cuban Art exhibit at the Musee des Beaux-Arts and then caught the screening of the documentary "Koolhaus Houselife" at the Canadian Centre for Architecture.

Both experiences were terribly enjoyable but the truly great moment occurred when Josh turned to me after the documentary had finished and said:

"So let me get this straight - we drove to Montreal to see a Cuban art exhibit and a movie made by Italians about a Dutch architect who built a house in France with a Spanish housekeeper?"

Indeed we did. This to me is multiculturalism at its best.

Another Craiglist Journey

It's early, I'm tired, and I'm putting off finishing a press release. And so I bring you today's craigslist fun:

Best/Most Confusing Headlines:

1. wall scones - $20

2. Elephant and/or cat - $10

3. NEEDED: Lifejackets (for people) and Kayak Rack (for Honda Civic)

4. Like New Twin Bed Matress and Boxspring - $50
(l.e.h.a.l.e note: - this is included as an example of all mattress ads on craigslist. I believe I speak for many when I say, simply, gross)

5. we have extremely HIGH scented candles variety of super SMELLY scents

And that's all I can muster for today. People are always an endless source of amusement, fascination and horror for me. Thanks to the good folks at craigslist for giving me a voyeuristic opportunity to laugh and cry.

It's Here! It's Finally Here!

Ohmigod Ohmigod Ohmigod. It's finally here - Opening Day at Fenway!!!

Cross fingers, cross toes, cross whatever you've got people and pray for good baseball!

Craigslist Strikes Again

I am a devoted reader of craigslist and a quasi-clean freak. Why do I mention this, you ask? Well, today I walked into my office and realized it was a complete disaster and immediately began repairing, cleaning and organizing. I feel much better. And so to wind down from the excitement of my cleaning spree, I surfed craigslist for a few minutes. I thought that I would bring you the best ad titles I found. For your entertainment I present:

1. beautiful shea's lounge chair

2. Need insurance $, selling my PC (wow, that's not the least bit sketchy...)

3. Dirty House??? - $1 (why would I want a dirty house for $1?)

6 NIDDY NODDY SPINNING WEAVING YARN - $50 (turns out this is in fact a yarn spinner, but from that title, I had no idea what the heck it was. I just liked "niddy noddy")

7. dog poop removal service - from ad: "I am attempting to be number 1 in the number 2 business." (lofty goal. Dream big, friend)

8. ELEPHANTS 275++ - $500 (even after reading the ad I'm not entirely sure what' s for sale)


And that concludes my tour of craigslist for the day.

Thought for the Day

It's one day prior to April, which some would call a month rooted firmly in the territory of Spring. However, here in northern Vermont it's snowing. Again. And I've been down in the dumps. I've heard from a lot of people lately that things are generally going badly out there, and I'm really sorry. There's unfortunately pretty much nothing I can do to help anyone I've talked to who is in need. But I can share this day-brightening incident that happened a few minutes ago.

As I mentioned, it's snowing. Thus, my car is covered in snow. But when I walked to the parking lot just now, someone had written in that snow. In this neighborhood, which is generally thought of as "the ghetto" of Burlington, one would expect swears, threats, or other epithets on one's car. However, I had:

"Life Can Be Great"

scrawled on my hood. It made me smile, and so I pass it along. Life can be great, friends. Take some anonymous and thoughtful person's word on it.

And the Show Has Reached a New Low

It's is now a confirmed fact that I have regressed as a human. To wit - my refrigerator:

Exhibit A: a miscellaneous foil wrapped leftover in a bowl I never plan to reclaim as usable dishware.

Exhibit B: the alcohol shelf (which, by volume, makes up the bulk of the refrigerated items)

Exhibit C: the cheese shelf. I'm not sure when I purchased anything on this shelf and I don't intend to open any of them lest I unleash a new bacterium on the world.

Exhibit D: the bread section. Note that I have purchased the same loaf of bread multiple times without finishing the loaf before. This can be traced to the practice of shopping on the way home from work after not having been in my apartment for multiple days.

Exhibit E: the lone inhabitant of my vegetable drawer - an aged shriveled onion. Rest in peace my layered friend. I'll give you a proper burial when I move out in June.

The truly sad part of all of this is that I used to cook daily. And the joyful part of this is that I have better things to do with my time than sitting home alone cooking. But still, this is a sad moment for the history of my owned and rented refrigerators.

The Case of the Suitcase

I like to paint things, especially old and somewhat ugly things. So when I decided to browse Recycle North on Saturday afternoon, my eyes were wide with the forest of old and ugly items before me. But one item in particular caught my eye: a blue samsonite suitcase. You know that period before something is antique when it's just old junk? This suitcase was a perfect example:


Faux marble and I just don't get along, so I spray painted it apple green:

Note of caution: do not spray paint inside when you have a chest cold. In fact, just don't spray paint inside. Nothing good can come of it. And my lack of a garage and complete impatience will keep me from ever heeding my own advice.

Now I knew from the moment I laid eyes on this beauty that it was begging for decoration, and so a tree grew in Monkton:


And flowers:


And since I couldn't very well leave the other side blank, this creation was born:


Five coats of extremely stinky poly spray later, this little baby is ready to fly. As soon as I redo the interior. And add something shiny.

A Tale of Two Weekends

Yet again, I have been neglectful of this blog. I blame Oscar:


I could make an absolutely dreadful "cat and mouse" pun but I'll spare you. Even I have dignity. Ok, a little dignity.

The truth of the matter is that besides the relentless crashing of waves of grants at work, the lovely Vermont weather has conspired against me having anything interesting to write of. But I'll do my best.

Last weekend it iced. It didn't rain, it didn't snow, it iced:


Josh, Selene and I were yet again holed up above the Radio Bean. And thus, another vegetable was anthropomorphized (thanks to Selene for crocheting the sweet potato hat and for supplying the googly eyes):



Josh played the guitar he made with the effects board he also made:



And me? I paper mache'd a shoe box. Yeah, I lose.


This weekend finds me refinishing a suitcase I found at Recycle North for a whopping $0.81 and yet again scraping paint and glue off my hands on a Sunday afternoon. I'm documenting the progress and will share soon. Stay tuned.

Tallying the Results

So after taking the afternoon off and making the rounds to change my last name back to my maiden name, I have made the following tally:

Responses by financial and government representatives upon hearing of my divorce (without any disclosure about the nature of the divorce):

"Congratulations" - 6
"I'm so sorry" - 1
no response - 3

My particular favorite came from my credit union rep who said: "Good for you. Dump 'em while you're young".

D-Day

It's official. As of 9:34 this morning, I'm divorced. All I can think is how happy I am that they didn't schedule the final hearing for Thursday, which would have been my fourth wedding anniversary. By the way, you'll notice the new posting name. I ditched the assumed last name.

Sometimes You Feel Like A...

Am I naive? Am I too conservative and traditional? Possible. What I am is horrified by this:

What is it? Oh, it's a snickers bar with caffeine added. Now I'm just as fascinated as the next person with the swath of products that now offer caffeine, but snickers? Really? Have we really become so lazy that we can't drink a cup of coffee and eat a candy bar? Is time really that tight? Can this thing really taste anything but cloyingly sweet with a chemical aftertaste? If anyone has dared try this, please offer your experience up. Sometimes your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

Entschuldigen Sie mich

I have once again been slacking in my duties as author, comic, critic, and all around annoying purveyor of words and images. Forgive me. I'm in something of a manic period. In the last 24 hours I've sewed and decorated 3 skirts, dyed my hair, driven 40 miles, faxed 292 pieces of paper that it took me a week to create (government grant billing at work) taken 3 months worth of recycling to the solid waste district, cleaned my home, 2 litter boxes and a 75 gallon turtle tank, and slept a total of 2 hours. And if you back up from there you discover that I also purchased two pairs of shoes in addition to the three pairs I purchased the week before. In my defense, they are all very colorful and heavily patterned.

And I have no heat. And it's supposed to snow again tomorrow. Again.

And who keeps voting for the flaming dr. pepper?